One of my most favorite things about my account is that (so far) I get to call the shots in terms of what discussions I want to have on my page and on my social media. I haven't grown big enough (yet) to get the haters that try to deter my bottom line into a warped sense of their own insecurities. So currently, the conversation that I have is one that I am beginning and one that I am owning.
Saying that, I have found IMMENSE freedom in saying out loud the things that I feel unhappy about in my own life. (More on that.) Yet I also, on occasion, grapple with being so open.
"Comparison is the thief of joy." - Theodore Roosevelt
I have days and weeks where I am posting a fair amount... content ranging from recipes I've tried to relatable quotes to funny, personal stories. All the while, I have a lot of friends that very barely post on social media, but I know are on there looking at everyone else's posts all the time. So naturally, I tend to worry about what they think of me and my accounts. I feel like there are over sharers (sorry, I don't need to see the actual POOP in your child's potty) and there are under sharers and then there are people in between.
What I constantly find myself coming back to when I feel this way is this: no one is wrong. We all have the ability to follow those who make us happy, inspire us, and perhaps allow us to live vicariously through them and their adventures that they post about. We also have the ability to unfollow those who annoy us, make us angry, and have views and values that do not align with our own. You just need to find the balance.
When I feel like I am one of the "over sharers" (which by the extreme example I gave previously, I am not) I remind myself of all of the DMs that I receive from people commenting on my every day posts telling me how wonderful they think it is that I am so positive. I think of the people that get confirmation from seeing my posts, that a life without medication for their autoimmune disease is possible and that they have the courage to keep going. I think of all of the people I have met so far on this journey that I never would have ever met otherwise.
So I will keep sharing for them.
But I will also keep sharing for me, because my posts also help ME heal.
Have you ever spoken a fear out loud and immediately feel a weight lifted? It's as if the big elephant in the room (that most likely only you see, btw) is called out and abruptly leaves because you had the courage to call attention to it. I feel that with my Multiple Sclerosis. The more I talk about it, the less power it has over me, and the more powerful I feel. I feel that with my body insecurities. The more I talk about how I gained a few pounds after starting to go to the gym consistently and eating properly, the less self conscious I feel about wearing shorts or tank tops. The more I call out the joys of the occasional adult acne flare up, the less I want to just hide out in our living room all day, away from the public eye.
You see, the more I say these things out loud, the less insecure I feel about them because I'm calling them out on my terms.
My point is... whatever you fear, OWN IT.
Try it out. Have an honest conversation with your significant other, or your best friend, or a family member. Say out loud what has been weighing you down. When you do so, I can promise you three things:
- You will immediately feel lighter and your confidence will grow.
- They will still love you when the conversation is over. Perhaps even more.
- The next time you are in a situation where that particular fear is at the forefront, I swear it's power over you will feel far less.
Now, I totally understand that not ALL fears are so simple. Some are so deeply rooted in unthinkable circumstances, and for that, I know it will require much more work and acceptance on the individual's part to even begin to heal. But when I'm talking about things you can truly take back the power on like appearance, body positivity, and overall outlook regarding a situation, then I feel doing this exercise can really unleash a lot of the heavy burden of carrying that fear around.
So... have you texted your friend yet to chat?